Can a mother forget her child after she puts him or her up for adoption?

after thirty four years I found out that I was adopted

the shock was so great I had a complete breakdown

however nothing came of it and four years later I finally succeeded in connecting with my birth family

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I talk from experience here

personally I think my mom did regret giving me up and always wondered what happened to me

but it was the manner my mom died that gives me pause for thought

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my father in law died on the mothers parents anniversary

my dad died and once again my world came to a CRASHING FLIP

a very strange experience

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the whole day I was in a state

my had was spinning

Well I leave that for your to decide

I’m wondering about attachment and transference with the therapist and the idea of escape and fantasy? How much do you think your strong feelings, constant thoughts, desires to be with your therapist are a way to escape from your present life? I wonder if the transference serves another purpose than to show us our wounds and/or past experiences, but is a present coping strategy for managing what we don’t want to face (even if unconsciously) in the present—-current relationships, life circumstances, etc. Can anyone relate to this concept of escape in relation to their therapy relationship? How does this play out for you?

moulding my own thoughts into the story maybe

the one man I trusted and looked upto very brutally told me I was adopted

I found out that I had been adopted at age one and that I had two half brothers thirteen and fourteen years older than me

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She died the next day and her death led to me connecting with my birth family when the death notice for Anne’s mom appeared just above the only two death notices for my half brother

all even years in fact when my world was turned upside own TWICE

my youngest daughter was born on the mothers birthday

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I was depressed

sadly just got the bad news that my other half brother passed away last month

however because my parents had been so good to me I resolved two things

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co incidence's ???

I some what think her last thoughts as her final moments were reached shecwascthinkingbof me and of the son she had given up all those years before

I’m too scared to even contemplate if there is another connection there

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my dad died it was this couples wedding anniversary

one - I would not tell my dad I knew (my mom had passed away four years before

I did nit know what to do with myself

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We shared birthdays and deaths together with another couple

I was closer to him in the last three months that he was still with us than I had ever been in the previous 34 years

I knew it might cost me finding my birth family but my parents happiness was ore than breaking my dads heart

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my dad hated that teddy bear and we never knew why

it was our wedding anniversary and her mom was dying of emphazima and doctor had said it was hours not weeks or months that she woukd go so we were stressing she would go on our wedding aniversary

she burned to death

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two - I would not look for my birth family until my dad was gone

I found out my birth mothers name and the search was on

this was not the first strange co incidence

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the letter wasn’t from my mom but there was a letter from the matron from the home where I spent my first year after I was born saying that I was taking the teddy bear to my new home from my birth father

strange yes

he threw the teddy bear away the day I got married

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the shocker came when I found out that the same day my mom died was the same day I had been so distraught

the next day I was fine again

the years past by quickly

I found out that my birth mom had died eleven years before but the rest of the family apart from my dads side had been waiting 25 years to connect with me

the search for your origions had just opened up so even if I had known before hand I would not have been able to look

my file was been transferred from the archives to the computers to enter all the information about children and birth parents that wanted to reunite

I never suspected anything

nothing could ruin the day except foe one thing

I was Morose

I was crying

A slip up by my aunt and the world I knew came crashing down

when did he die lthecsameceay thst Anne’s mom died

the only problem was I never knew why

to this day I regard this man as the scum of the earth for the way he had broken the news of my adoption

there were several others that sort of beggar belief

banging my head agaists the wall was a very viable option

one one fine day the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, it as a beautiful day

It fell off the trolly and instead of it been put back on the trolly it was put on the shelf judt as my application to look for my parents csmecinn

strange as it may seem the day before Anne’s mom died my wife had a dream about Anne’s mom coming to her with a letter asking for forgiveness spabdvthat my wife go look for the son she gave up for adoption all those years before

I had kept my promise not to tell my dad I knew but now he was gone I could freely look

but here is the clincher